The ‘Three Me-s’ have helped guide horses, Senate leaders, prayers, and uncertainty

These three gals should be explained.

The Outside Me. She, the lucky one, was some time ago considered good-looking or cute; physically strong; able to navigate along, going through many schools, even getting a master’s degree; then moving on to some high-paying jobs, etc.

That worked out well. The Outside Me even landed a prominent staff position in the U.S. Senate, but she also drew attention and regular requests from some needy ones in her sphere.

There were several cowboys who only knew how to throw a rope, doctor sick calves, occasionally ride a bucking horse, or polish off a fifth of whiskey. She liked them, which wound up costing money.

There were also lots of needy kids, some produced naturally and strays that needed a roof over their heads and a lot of groceries.

Not to mention brothers and sisters, constantly in need of money. She learned a phrase from their generation: No Prob, which means Western Union works.

The Outside Me managed to do all those things.

“Those parts of me actually asked this be written down –acknowledge them — for they have had tough duty throughout the years.”

Clara Caufield

Meanwhile, Inside Me was always slightly nervous.

“Do you think we should be doing this?” She would often inquire while taking care of the praying, and the spiritual needs. Sometimes the Outside Me would tell her to quiet down, but she ignored that, tending to necessary business.

Perhaps the strongest version of myself has been the Warrior Me, always in the background, conveniently ignored.

She handles the hard stuff: memory of a son who was murdered; the bad husband who tried to kill the Outside Me; the awful mother who did not like any of the Me-s; the white kids who always called me “half-breed” and so on. Warrior Me took all those memories, put them into a sack, buried them, and then stood guard so they could not get out.

She has always been big, bad, dangerous, and vigilant. Good idea not to mess with her.

All three Me versions have been doing this together for close to 70 years, just recently weakening a bit. Lately, the Inside and Warrior Me-s have started showing up in dreams, pestering, regular nuisances. They wonder if we have handled things correctly.

“Warrior Me took all those memories, put them into a sack, buried them, and then stood guard so they could not get out.”

Clara Caufield

Those parts of me actually asked this be written down –acknowledge them — for they have had tough duty throughout the years.

During my life journey, I was fortunate to make friends with several four-leggeds. Dogs and horses. I think they also have several Me-s in them: the Outside Me, which was once good-looking or ‘cute’ and athletic; the Inside Me, often chicken-hearted, and the Warrior Me, which glues them together, making things possible.

When I get to know the inner side of them and encouraged the Warrior in them, on the outside, we could get a lot of things done.

“She has always been big, bad, dangerous, and vigilant. Good idea not to mess with her.”

Clara Caufield

I assume that everybody has similar sides to them. The Outside Me persona presented to the world; the Inside Me that sometimes harbors problems, uncertainty, insecurity, etc., and the Warrior Me handling deep dark stuff.

That is just natural for a human. Thus, the Outside Me is going to hang on to “cute” like it used to be and remind the other Me-s to be a little quieter.

“We have done the best we could,” I’ll say.