I love scary movies that are REALLY scary and “The Conjuring” universe has done a fairly good job of jump-scaring the begeezus outta me. “The Nun” being the most recent prequel in the series.
I’ll tell you my critique of “The Nun” in a little bit, but first let”s explain a bit of “The Conjuring” movie world. “The Conjuring” itself has two movies thus far: “The Conjuring” and “The Conjuring 2,” which are horror movies based on the real-life documented cases of the first two ghost hunters, Ed and Lorraine Warren. The Warren’s are lauded as the paranormal investigators that investigated and documented the most infamous and controversial cases of haunting. They were also the ones whose efforts are lauded as the initial investigators in the Amityville Horror house.
Ed Warren was a World War II United States Navy veteran and former police officer who became a self-taught demonologist and was accepted by the church as the only non-ordained man who could perform an exorcism. Lorraine Warren is a renowned clairvoyant and medium who worked closely with her husband to investigate cases.
Many people may not realize that both “Annabelle” movies, the movie based on a true story about a creepy demon-possessed doll, is also part of the universe. Truth be told, the “Annabelle” movies give me the massive heebie-jeebies more so than the others, and I can’t even imagine having any kind of doll in my house. (Action-figures are another story.) My wife Delores can barely stand a doll that has a face, let alone some super creepy looking doll that looks like Annabelle.
Today, the Annabelle doll (that is actually a large Raggedy Anne doll in real life) sits in an enclosed case at the Warren’s home. The Warren’s have a room with all of the “possessed objects” they have collected from homes over the years that are supposedly regularly blessed by priests.
That’s not a room I would ever want to visit.
So on Thursday, I saw “The Nun” with my nephew Parker and we literally screamed and grabbed each other’s arms during the whole movie. I have some critique, but I”ll get to that at the end as I will review the Conjuring universe movies in a bit of order.
Here are my reviews of all the movies.
I am going to rate these movies as always with a one to five nerd emoji scale. One being I might’ve walked out because it was so terribly awful – to five, meaning awesome — and in this movie reviews case — filled with jump-scares.
The Conjuring – ???? 4 Native Nerds for a great scary movie!
Oscar nominee Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson star as Lorraine and Ed Warren. As described by Warner Bros, “The Conjuring” tells the horrifying tale of how world renowned paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren were called upon to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in a secluded farmhouse.”
A young director James Wan (now director of Aquaman) did a beautiful job with unique transitions and unexpected jumpscares much to my enjoyment. The extra creepy factor is that it is based on a true story. A well-done, well-crafted creepy movie.
The Conjuring 2 – ????1/2 Four-and-a-half Native Nerds for the best scary movie in the Conjuring universe!
In my favorite of the series, Lorraine and Ed Warren travel to north London to help a single mother raising four children alone in a house plagued by malicious spirits. There are connections to the Nun, the Crooked Man character, and more.
This movie scared the ever loving (bleep) out of me. Supposedly this movie is the least based on the truth as the Warren’s supposedly were turned away. But it is one of the most documented hauntings in London.
Annabelle – ??? Three Native Nerds for a super creepy scarefest but corny plot.
Annabelle was REALLY scary. But the only bummer was the creation of sorts of a June and Ward Cleaver sense of family terrorized by the demon of Annabelle. The “yes, my dear loving wife” sentiments got overly syrupy and truthfully annoying. But that is my one critique for a movie that really scared the heck out of me.
Annabelle: Creation – ???1\2 Three-and-half Native Nerds for a maybe a not-so-true story but a great creative plot with great twists
I really liked “Annabelle: Creation” because I would venture to guess we wouldn’t really be following the initial creation of a Raggedy Anne Doll in some factory. But in this movie, which takes place on a farmhouse of a man who built the original Annabelle doll was a lot better than I thought it was going to be.
There is also a tie in to the evil nun character which appears in several places during the Conjuring movies, which was fun. Fun in a scared like a little kid during the first day of school kinda way.
Ok – Here we are – “The Nun”
The Nun – ??? Three Native Nerds for lots of scares – but a bit over the top with bodies coming to life.
With all the build up to the Nun demon character in the Conjuring and Annabelle movie universe, I might be a bit jaded in asserting that I wanted a bit less over the top bodies-coming-to-life than “The Nun” offered.
Zero doubt, this movie was scary. Me and and my nephew Parker have fingernail marks in each other’s arms to prove it. But it went a bit too far in terms of weird bloody bodies coming to life that came across more like a scene from The Walking Dead, than a scary weird demon-possessed nun movie would deliver.
There were some great creepy moments, and great connections to the Warrens ultimately, but I just wish this movie was a bit more based in the creepiness of the unknown, rather than a demon coming to life and throwing someone into a wall.
Parting thought
Overall, these movies were SCARY … and admittedly not for everyone who may not like the creepiness of the unknown world. The creepiest thought about many of the movies is that there is an element of truth to them – though of course they have been hollywood-ized. If you like to be scared, I’d say go see them all. But venture carefully my friends, these things are going to make you scared of any bumps in the night.
But that might be part of the fun, as we all know #Native Nerds like to get scared too.
Follow fellow Native Nerd, Vincent Schilling associate editor for Indian Country Today at @VinceSchilling – Make sure to use the Hashtag #NativeNerd
